rashadsays

That terribly confusing moment when autocorrect leads your best friend to believe that you have a pet duck which you’d like them to suck on, angrily. 

I’ll never understand the cognitive processes behind priding oneself with ignorance and stupidity. 　

My hair changed someone’s life.

Literally.

I was getting a haircut today and my barber and I were talking about the usual stuff. Cash, clothes, hoes, etc. 

Not at all actually. Fuck that superficial shit. 

We were discussing movies slated for release this summer. And out of the blue he asked me what product I put in my hair to preserve its contoured shape. So I showed him a picture of it on my phone. He asked where he could get it and I told him the pharmacy two blocks away carries it. 

He told me he couldn’t go in there anymore. I assumed it was a legal issue… which I now realize was the result of me stereotyping. But he told me he felt terrible and would be too embarrassed. I didn’t ask why, so as not to pry, but he elaborated anyway. Told me he, “Took too many girls there,” to get post-abortion pain meds.

…

I wasn’t sure how to react. Because usually he’d have relayed that message with a smug Casanova-esque tone. But this time he got all quiet. 

So I asked if he was alright. He told me, “Man, I need to cut this shit out. I’ve got a good girl now. Thanks.” 

I’m not sure if it was the heat or my innate propensity for sardonicism…but my response was as follows, “Cool. Now quit being a little bitch and cut my damn hair. …but you’re welcome.”